Sunday, July 22, 2007

i hate my work

you might wonder at the title.
here i was all happy with my work and the challenges involved, and all of a sudden, you see me complaining.
well, i don't exactly hate the particular work i'm doing.
what i do hate is what my work does to me and does not let me do.
i don't have the freedom i used to. most of how i spend my time is dictated by my work.
when i was in medical school (seems so far away, doesn't it? it's actually been only a little over a year), there was more freedom.
i could cut class whenever i wanted. i remember cutting class the whole day just to watch all three episodes of LOTR (lord of the rings) at a stretch on my friend's computer. or sitting and playing extremely out-of-date versions of need for speed.
those were the days.
now, i have to be inside theatre almost before others have to be inside the loo. and i have to stay there till the last patient is safely transferred out. and the good lord save the junior anaesthetist seen with a mobile phone or book in the hand inside theatre!
was just reminded of these things when a friend of mine was going through a tough time and i could not contact her because of all these constraints. at that moment, i really wanted to be with her, or at least call her. we could, and did, liberally cut class when a friend needed something back in medical school. now it's just not possible.
wonder if 'those were the best days of my life' and they really will never come back?

Saturday, July 21, 2007

i took the book quiz too




You're Confessions!

by St. Augustine

You're a sinner, you're a saint, you do not feel ashamed. Well, you
might feel a little ashamed of your past, but it did such a good job of teaching you
what not to do. Now you've become a devout Christian and have spent more time
ruminating on the world to come rather than worldly pleasures. Your realizations and
ability to change will bring reverence upon you despite your hedonistic transgressions.
Florida will honor you most in the end.



Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.



it is pretty interesting, i must admit.
the characterization does ring a bell.
but i wonder how whether i like the british isles has anything to do with anything other than my (non-existent) tourist activity?
and hey, does this mean all humans can be characterized into 64 groups?
somehow, i believe we're much more diverse than that.
and who exactly is florida??!!

Saturday, July 14, 2007

abstinence education

i found a good interview-article on abstinence education
thought i should put it up.
it's an interview with jason evert of catholic answers
read it here
it's from zenit
i think i remember reading in the newspaper about the study debunking abstinence education mentioned in the beginning of the article. it seemed like a gleeful declaration of victory by those espousing 'safe sex'. when will people learn that sex always has consequences, and is beautiful only in within the loving embrace of marriage?
any thoughts?

Friday, July 13, 2007

comparing big tobacco and big sodomy

read another article of the conservative kind
so, would like to foist it upon you
this is from worldnetdaily
personally, i think we've got a long way to go before this demon is demolished

robin williams' jokes on the pedophilia scandal

hi,
wasn't really planning to post again today, but stumbled on this article by tim graham at newsbusters
unfair, really, what celebrities are allowed to do and get away with

friday the thirteenth of july- ah, the memories!

it's friday, the thirteenth of july
and i'm wondering about the last time it was friday the thirteenth of july, back in 2001
it was a weird day.
i had a foot which was hurting badly after getting injured with a rusted iron nail and after stuffing it into tight leather shoes for two days for impression's sake
i had a very heavy suitcase i'd been lugging around for almost a week now
i had just been accepted into a very prestigious medical school
i had barely enough money to buy the cheapest of bare essentials to start surviving in a new town
i had just said goodbye to the last person i knew and was about to be all alone in an alien town, with an alien language, among totally alien people, for the first time really away from home.
i was having all sorts of apprehensions that now, seem so hilarious

who'd have known that it was the beginning of a wonderful journey
five wonderful years of college life lived, and enjoyed, to the hilt
six years in which, i believe i've grown up, and hopefully, grown into a better person
so many wonderful friends made
a small town in the middle of nowhere with nothing to recommend it, and yet me becoming so comfortable with it, that i now contemplate staying here for a long time to come

oh, the memories
do you remember when we all used to get together every week to pray and sing and dance?
do you remember when we all used to sit up late at night making inane contraptions for some program or the other?
do you remember the effort we put into all those sports, dumb charades, quizzes, dances and music?
do you remember standing on stage having won the annual music competition?
do you remember those long night-walks all over the campus?
do you remember gas-sessions?
do you remember bush-hunting?
do you remember the class meetings? the arguments? the hammer on the lecture tables?
do you remember the hill-top retreats?
do you remember the tears shed on the last hill, when we talked late into the night?
do you remember songs like "i know a place" or "milk"or "jambalaya" or the 'grease' tunes?
do you remember the bus-rides with roof-banging, foot-tapping carlos santana tunes?
do you remember how even the pop-haters used to join in and sing christina aguilera songs just because the class was doing it?
do you remember dinners in small joints and posh rooftops?
do you remember easter sunrise on top of a hill?
do you remember the water fights in the bus and the lecture rooms?
do you remember being thrown into a pool on your birthday, or the midnight party?
do you remember the three traditional questions?
do you remember christmas carol rounds?
do you remember dressing up in out-landish clothes, or dressing your juniors up?
do you remember imitating teachers?
do you remember sleeping in stuffy classrooms?
do you remember the long hours in library before the exams with the short stress-buster breaks in between?
do you remember making noodles, or getting coffee to stay up and study?
do you remember starting internship knowing next to nothing?
do you remember saying goodbye to your best friends?

do i remember?
how could i ever forget!
thank you B.O.N.O., there's no one like you!

a friend has come visiting

yesterday,
one of my very good friends came visiting.
today, i feel like telling you about her, and about how we became friends
a person who's existed at the periphery of your consciousness for five whole years, whom you barely know, with whom all conversation is polite small-talk; would you expect such a person to become a close friend? i don't think so.
i guess i have my wretched (or in this case, blessed) sense of humour to thank for this wonderful occurrence.
so here's this person who was in my class all the years of medical school, and yet i barely knew, except as the friend of a friend.
it happened in internship, when we were never even posted together
i was in the main hospital, and she was a few miles away, at a small health centre.
i don't know which one of us made the call, and i certainly don't know why the call was made. as a humorous end-piece to the usual polite conversation, i cracked a joke about her missing her boyfriend, who was also in the main hospital. and there the conversation ended. five minutes later, i got a message from her telling me that her relationship had been long over, and that it hurt to be reminded of it. i was mortified. i seriously contemplated just burying my head in the deepest sand-pit and avoiding her completely, so embarrassed was i.
i thank God i chose to call her instead to apologise. we started talking again, but this time, the talk had real substance. and we haven't stopped talking since.
the 1 year of internship saw us grow so close, that a lot of people were quite sure we were attaching ourselves to each other 'on the rebound', considering i too was commonly thought to be recently jilted.
but who cares? why should i go around explaining to everyone?
both of us are still amazed at this friendship, and the way it came about
thanks, dear friend, for being there through some very lousy times.
but she had to go. at the end of internship, she went off to a small hospital in a far-off place to work for two years.
and that's how, after 3 months there, she's come to visit.
it was so wonderful to see her standing here again.
here's to you, radiance and brightness, may your life be full of them

11th July- R.I.P. my friend

when i was in school, back in the big city, i had very few friends. mostly just the kind you hung around with in classes, and shared your lunch with. nothing close or intimate. no baring of the soul, no sharing of thoughts and secrets.
then he came along. funny, we were not even in the same school. we met in church. i don't even remember how we became friends, just that i soon realised how important he was to me. i wonder whether our bond was stronger or weaker because of the fact that we both had almighty crushes on the same girl.
he was always the 'life of the party' kind of guy (i say "kind of" because at that time, i never had attended any parties; those came in college) and had all the smooth moves. he was, to put it simply, comfortable with himself. i was the exact opposite. when nervous, i used to swing between two extremes- absolute lips-glued-together or total tongue-wagging-with-no-sense-of-direction. and yet, he never felt i was below his standards of cool.
he was a lovely singer. people wanted him in the choir all the time. no one asked me, on the other hand. i should have gotten the hint. but he always used to make me sing with him. and till i was with him, i never realized what a lousy singer i was. some of my best memories with him are those of walking down a road just singing any popular melody.
what sealed our friendship was the discovery of God together at a charismatic retreat. how does one explain that bond to someone else?
sure we fought once in a while, but who doesn't? for three years, he was my soul-mate.
then i came off to college in this small town.
it really took some time to find new friends.
for the next four years, we kept in touch through mail and over the phone.
the last time i met him was when i went home for christmas in the fourth year of college. i didn't even know he'd be coming over from his college elsewhere. but he had news. he was going away, to new zealand. his parents had moved, and so would he. it was goodbye.
i knew then, that i would probably never see him again. sure, i promised myself i would one day earn enough to go there and meet him. but somehow, i knew it wouldn't happen.
so we kept in touch by mail again. he seemed to like the place.
i was in the last year of medical school, presenting a surgery case to a rather odious lecturer, while my friends all stood around, some barely concealing boredom, other furiously taking down notes. and my mobile was buzzing away. there was no way i was going to pick it up then.
the class ended and i made my way back muttering about the lecturer and wondering why he had to be like himself. then i remembered the missed call. it was from someone back in the big city. i called up.
he had died in a car accident- july 11th, 2005.
i remember walking down the corridors of the hospital with tears streaming down my face, and with "no" on my lips. i remember my classmate watching me get into the bus and asking jovially why i was looking as if someone had died.
i remember making my first ever international phone call to speak to his parents. well, i didn't speak. how does one speak to a man and woman who've just lost both their children in one fell blow (his younger brother was with him in the car)? but i did cry. and all his mother said was, "your friend's gone, isn't he?"
not a day goes by when i don't wonder- why him, or pray for his soul
ETERNAL REST GRANT TO HIM, O LORD; AND MAY THE SOULS OF THE FAITHFUL DEPARTED, THROUGH THE MERCY OF GOD, REST IN PEACE, AMEN.